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Friday, 22 October 2010

The Taxi Chronicles part I of LXXII

This is part I of LXXII of the true mr_taxi_man chronicles found on twitter I've arranged them into XII volumes. I can see straight away this is going to take a while. So I might skip a few L's and X's, no one will notice.

Here are a few twitobservations, see what I did then? I combined "twitter and observations" and... Oh! Bollox never mind...

I have just seen a Kebab angel, (that's a squashed seagull in the road with a kebab box over it) a strong portent that is... I'll bet I slip on a chilli now... 


I love big women, despite the uneven tyre wear aspect too! Big couples in the back are always best, better grip on icy roads...

Guy wanted a shag, so I took him to a tobacconist, he can get ready rubbed there too, I do hope he understands the concept of tobaccony.

I had a prenuptial disagreement with a pensioner who wanted me...y'now, in that way, she wouldn't sign, so I said no...

A Blonde very rude Muppet with his hair in braids has just got out, he looks like he's wearing a sisal carpet sample on his head...

Is burli...burlesk...burly... are big women in Basques fashionable now? Seen "loads" tonite... see what I did then! Big? Loads? Oh! Never mind...


Arse! Took the skin off my fingers trying to get a pound coin from down the side of the seat, It's only a love heart with "your mine" written on it...

Impossibly large woman on impossibly high stilettos just walked on by, I'm impressed with the pounds per square inch these pavements can take...

Cabby from another daddy suggested they should have rode around on horses wearing gorilla suits like in planet of the apes when the Chilean miners came up...

I don't take girlfriends as deposits anymore, I prefer garden ornaments and statues, hardy perennials, boats, (big ones) and strawberry chewits.

I have found out taking peoples passports because I'm owed money is illegal! And I've still got that big box of customers girlfriends in the attic that were given to me as deposits, they don't feed themselves you know!.. Well! They can't... because they are tied up, but you know what I mean...

An anagram of Dom Joly is Mold Joy, So... he's a happy opportunistic pathogen eh? *I've not forgotten your comments  about Hastings mouldy boy*

Sitting in the back, and she's like, "You want me don't you", so I'm like, ha! Your 'avin a larf Mrs! So she's like, I'm not talking to you idiot! I'm on the phone to my boyfriend..oops!

...So she steps out of her dress and throws it at him... Gets back in, I take her home, she pays me and walks up her drive with just a handbag...

I must remember that its shabby chic and not chubby chick next time a woman asks me if I find her attractive.

 Next, Part II. Sigh... this is gonna take me ages...