Wednesday, 9 March 2016

Top Ten Load of Bollox I've heard in my Cab

Your Drunk, off your face on a locally grown drug, or you just fancy talking complete bollox to a stranger. You have ten minutes or so to empress me or make me utter a few Ooo's or ahh's, here are some of the top ten bits of utter bollox I've heard so far

Gay man told me his Nan was Gloria Swanson the 1930's Hollywood superstar

Bloke told me he invented crack

Woman said she slept with a horse

Eighteen year old boy told me he was 63 and kept calling me sonny

Bloke told me he went up into space in the fifties but is sworn to tell no one

Man told me he is a spy

Bloke told me he was buying a Bugatti Veyron and didn't have enough to pay me

Man said he has slept with 10,000 women, he also had no teeth in his deluded head

Woman said she can jump over buildings and she'd show me but she had the wrong shoes on

Man told me he killed a sabre toothed tiger in potters bar in 1977

Some may be true, probably not though, I took Keane home once, didn't believe them either...

When Doubt Creeps in

Cursor. Click. Cursor.
Look. Stare. 
Look down. Click.
Fingers hover. Wait. Wait.
Waiting… Click. Cursor. Click.
Look away.  Fed up.
Watch Bowie news...
Distraction excuse.
Look down. Click.
Feeling guilt. Hopeless.
Really hopeless.
Click click.
Another day.